when reading becomes a challenge

I’ve been wondering for a while why I seem to have no interest in reading my books lately. Today, I read ‘Why I Quit My Goodreads Challenge‘ and realised that I haven’t particularly been enjoying reading because of the pressure I’ve unconsciously been giving myself to hit my target.

It’s not as if my target has been particularly high to begin with. I had set myself a 20 book target. I had done the same last year, and I had hit the target by the mid-year and increased it to 25. When I hit that, I increased it again to 30. I didn’t hit 30 books, but I did hit my first target.

It was a good feeling.

But it also felt a little disappointing when I didn’t hit my final target. And reading, or not reading, should not feel disappointing. I used to read because I enjoy it. I still read for enjoyment, because I love to read and I like putting out reviews on why I’ve enjoyed or not enjoyed a particular story.

This year has not been a year for reading so far. I’ve read 4 books. I’m happy that I’ve read that many, to be quite honest, because this year I have been wanting to focus on my writing, on starting and establishing this blog. Reading and watching TV are my destressing from the other pressures I’ve put on myself, on the other targets I’ve set for myself.

I’m reclaiming that, thanks to Mica‘s inspiration. I have other things I want to be doing this year – I want to finish up my new short story. I want to learn a little more about book photography. I want to keep blogging, keep writing fanfiction and reading fanfiction, and watching television and learning new recipes – there are so many things I want to do this year, and if reading falls a little to the wayside, it’s not a bad thing.

Putting a target I already know I may not hit is just making me unhappy. But I also don’t want to quit the reading challenge because I like knowing how many books I have read. Instead, I’ve lowered my target to 10. If I hit it before the end of the year, maybe I’ll increase it by one or two books. If I don’t hit the target, well, maybe next year I’ll set my target even lower.

There are some people who manage to read hundreds of books in a year. I salute you guys. I wish I could do that. I used to be able to do that as a kid. But now, I think I get distracted too easily. And that’s okay!

What do you think? Has reading brought more pressure than pleasure over the years as life happens?